Single mothers can share these eight valuable life lessons with their children that will guide them to be independent as they embark on their journey.
The life of a single mother is similar to that of a ping pong ball game. Work! Parenting! Bills! Household chores! Just as the balls that are shot keep coming at the players, tasks and responsibilities never end in single mothers’ lives.
We understand how much strength, courage, and endurance it would take to manage all these challenges single-handedly! Single mothers possess valuable life lessons that are essential for personal growth. But, they often tend to belittle themselves and undervalue their innate ability to touch the lives of people around them—especially their children.
Friedrich Nietzsche, a German philosopher, once said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” As a single mother, you might relate to this quote, as you would understand that “challenges” or “setbacks” in our lives are just tools that help us bring out our strongest personalities.
Single Mother's Valuable Life Lessons
As a single mother, you would have endured a lot of challenges in your life. However, it is essential to remember that you matter. Your presence is a valuable component in your children’s lives. They constantly look up to you as their role model and learn deeply from you. These are a few life lessons we hope your children take away from having a strong and loving single mom like you.
Being a single mom teaches you much about life, especially relationships. Share this valuable knowledge with your children and teach them the importance of healthy relationships. Whether in family, friendships, or work, teach them that it is okay to leave a relationship where they don’t feel respected.
When you stand firm in your truth, you set a norm for them: “They are enough, even if they have to walk the path by themselves.” It encourages them to have high self-esteem. Moreover, they also learn to maintain high standards, which helps them say no to toxic relationships.
Self-Reliance and Independence
As a single mother, you would know how important it is to be self-reliant. Being independent is vital, not only to sustain our lives but also to empower ourselves. A self-sufficient person is confident in themselves. To help your child become one, start teaching them essential life skills early on—cooking, cleaning, managing finances, etc.
You can ask them to help you with household chores or include them in grocery shopping. Little children love to be their mothers’ helping hands. Invite your teens to join you in meal preparation and bond over fun stories of your lives. Moreover, always remember to show appreciation to your children whenever they complete any task. It boosts their self-confidence when they see you notice their little deeds.
Adversities are part of life. We cannot skip them. But we can build ourselves up to be strong enough to face them. Raise your children to be resilient so they are prepared for any adversities of life. Teach them that setbacks are just chances to grow and build strength within ourselves.
For instance, let’s say your teenage daughter got rejected from her dream college. Or maybe your 9-year-old son got bullied for his poor acting skills during the drama class. They might feel devastated and even start doubting their capabilities. Gently comfort them and let them know it’s natural to feel hurt. Remind them that failure is part of life and that every setback is a new opportunity to do something better. Appreciate them for the effort they have put in and encourage them to remain persistent.
Financial Literacy
As a single mother managing your finances yourself, you would know the value of financial literacy in one’s life. Managing money is one of the most crucial skills of the hour. Educating your children about money from a young age can help them manage their wealth better. It also allows them to build a healthy relationship with money.
You can involve your children while you sit down to do financial budgeting for the month. Sending your children to buy groceries or a packet of milk can instil a sense of responsibility in them. Let them save for themselves, and introduce the savings concept to them by having their piggy bank. If your child is a teenager, the best way to teach good financial habits is to let them go for an internship. Furthermore, if your children are teens, ensure they know all your investments.
Everything in our life comes with an expiry date: people, dreams, things, positions—nothing is constant. Sometimes we get what we want, and other times we don’t. However, learning to “accept our reality” and “let go” of things that aren’t in our control is the key to a peaceful life.
Make your children aware of this truth. Encourage them to practice “detachment” in life. The more detached they are, the less likely they are to seek external validation. For instance, if your child is heartbroken over a losing friendship or a love failure. Practising detachment will help them move on and heal better from the loss.
Handling Emotions
Letting yourself be vulnerable in times of challenge is the highest life lesson you can instil in your children. When they see you go through rough times while being open and authentic to your feelings, like rage, grief, or hurt, they know that being genuine is the need of the hour. Life can never be smooth at all times; it has happiness and challenges, and we must always accept ourselves.
Raise them to grow into emotionally intelligent individuals. You can practice “self-regulation” skills like deep breathing, meditation, tapping, etc., with them when triggered. It will help them calm down and handle their problems in a better mental space. Moreover, they should be encouraged to seek professional help whenever things get serious.
Self-Care and Well-Being
Prioritising our well-being is the ultimate form of self-care. Teach your children to put themselves first by loving themselves unconditionally and caring for their needs. Tell them to prioritise their health, both physically and mentally. For example, motivate them to exercise, eat healthy food, get enough sleep, etc.
Suggest practising journaling, which can benefit their mental health. They can also practice saying positive affirmations. Small gestures like appreciating little wins or treating oneself to a favourite meal over a good movie are ways to show care for themselves. Dressing up and going on solo dates or pampering oneself with a relaxing massage/spa are other fun ways they can make themselves feel special.
Contentment
As a single mother, you would have to make many adjustments in life. You would even feel guilty sometimes for not being able to provide everything your child demands. However, it is vital to teach them to be content individuals. Inspire them to focus on the joy of small victories rather than looking at what is missing.
Remind them to be grateful for the things that they do have. For example, they might not have the latest gadgets, but they have a loving home. Teach them to seek happiness in the simple things of life, like appreciating a weekend well spent with friends or an evening stroll at the park.
The journey of single motherhood is a challenging one. But remember that your role as a single mother plays a huge part in your child’s life. Your strength, resilience, and everyday actions teach them much about life.
So keep being the fantastic role model that you are. And if you ever feel stuck on this journey, please feel free to seek help. You can join local support groups or online communities to connect with single moms like you and share your experiences. At Rooting You, we are always available to provide any support and assistance you need.
Remember, getting the help that you need is essential not only for you but also for your child’s health. It’s a step towards reinventing yourself and creating the happier, healthier life you and your child deserve.
Lavina has a strong passion for human psychology and a deep desire to understand the unique challenges faced by parents. Her personal experience as a parent has inspired her to establish Rooting You. Her writing offers comfort and serves as a valuable resource for single parents navigating the challenges of raising children on their own.
